My first experience with shooting a gun was when I was about 8 and I played the game Duck Hunt for the NES. This, was my second.
Welcome to Big Buck Hunter
I like to think I'm good at playing video games, that I have decent reaction time and hand/eye coordination, but there was something about this game that threw all of that out the window.
How was I supposed to know not to shoot the Doe. Btw the only reason I even know what "A doe, a deer, a female deer" is would be because of The sound of music. Heck, when I have a fake gun in my hands and see a bunch of pixelated animals jumping in front of me, you better I'm gonna shoot.
What happens when you shoot a doe you ask. Well... You lose.
This my friends is how it's done. Above is the groom, who wasn't particularly hammered but definitely shouldn't have been able to shoot this good. Tyler, did not shoot any doe.
Day 2: A real gun!
The day after the bachelor party Steve had asked me if I would like to shoot a real gun. Commence panic!
I don't particularly like guns but i figured it could be a once in a lifetime experience, so what the hell, why not.
Steve goes through the safety checks, how to load the gun and how to shoot it. Now it's time to show them who's boss. Right? Not so much.
They set up 3 clay pigeons in a pile of branches and brush. Easy peasy lemon squeezey. It should have been easy. I had the the barrel lined up just like Steve said. My stance was perfect(ish). All I had to now was pull the trigger.
Yeah, that kickback...
Steve said there would be a little bit of push when I fired but I wasn't expecting anything like that. The gun legit shoves you backwards, which is fine but every subsequent shot I had this weird feeling of anticipation like it was somehow going to be worse than the first time. In the end I was 0-3, which I guess was better than the night before after losing after firing just 1 shot.
Steve asked if I wanted to reload and shoot again.
"No thanks, I'm good"
So, Per usual I arrived later than I anticipated. Also I am not used to driving in places that have maybe two or three roads in the town and all those roads are named County Route.
So I get a hold of Steve and he leads me to where I need to be. At this point we are still planning on surprising all of the other guys.
Well, that really didn't go according to plan. Here's why.
Who knew that people from Minnesota read the Boston Globe. I think each and every guy there said that they found out about the story from the Globe and already knew I was coming. Prior to that, I thought only Tyler (The groom), AJ and Steve (The best man) knew. Surprise!
Either way it worked out. Everyone seemed happy to see me and still a little surprised that I actually showed up from Massachusetts to the middle of nowhere.
Funny story about how everyone but Steve found out about me not being the real Shawn McGovern, who is pictured above.
So apparently the group of guys go over to Tyler's house on Sundays to watch Game of Thrones. Steve just so happen to be texting or on the phone with Tyler while everyone was over there and he asked Tyler to see who is getting emails because no one was responding.
Tyler "Shawn? Are you getting the bachelor party emails?"
Shawn "No, I haven't gotten anything"
Tyler to Steve "Shawn says he's not getting the emails"
Steve: "What're you talking about! Shawn is the only one responding"
So I grab some beer from the provided Keg and look around.
So so basically what you have is a large barn, which to me though was more like a garage/warehouse. In it was the food, keg, the Hammerschlagen stump and all sorts of cool random stuff.
If you are not familiar with what the awesomeness of Hammerschlagen is, watch the video below.
Mind you though, the people in the video are using a freakin war hammer compared to what the people at the party were using.
Outside of the barn there was a large field where everyone had their tents set up and another field where they had lawn games setup.
I was told that this wasn't even the whole property. Apparently there's a hell of a lot more, including a lake. These people know how to live it up.
You have your typical bean bag/cornhole.
Then there was this game...
Its called Kubb. Apparently it's an ancient Viking game where you knock things over and throw stuff... And stuff. I still don't understand all the rules, all I know is don't hit the middle thingy.
Watch this and see if you can figure it out.
I'm not a huge drinker. Doesn't mean when I go out I don't have a few beers but when I say that there's been a case of Sam Summer, in my fridge since last summer, I'm not exaggerating.
This is also means though, that I absolutely suck at yard games. If these people really knew me, I'd be picked last, every single time. Just like gym class. The only reason my team won Kubb, was because the other team kept hitting the middle post.
So a few people, including the real Shawn McGovern had left early. I wasn't sure if it was that they were just too tired, or that my presence was just too overwhelming for them.
We ate burgers on the grill and drank and drank. You know, these are the things one does at a bachelor party. Problem is, we're all old.
Most of the older guys though, including Tyler's dad, were fine. They could've gone on another 3 days. Us youngins though? Pfffth.. they had all been drinking since the day before and were clearly tired. So we decided to hit up a bar down the street.
The first bar we ended up at was Pitt 611. It was a cool place but we weren't there for long. Something happened with shots, people were mad, not sure why but it was all good because this place had unlimited popcorn.
So the second bar we went to was a lot less crowded which was fine but it was certainly more, I don't know, country(ish)?
Not sure if everyone just went here more often or what but they seemed to be at home which was great. We played Big Buck Hunter (again I was horrible) but they cheered me on when I killed a pixelated deer. Thanks guys. Tyler the groom rocked this game. I was shocked at how well he could shoot as he drank.
One of the stranger things I learned about bars in Minnesota, is that you can play a charity game called pull tabs. There was a lady, who's job it was to sit behind a booth and sell these things... All profits going to charity.
So after the bar we went back to the camp/party spot. They had randomly met people they knew at the bar who were totally cool going back with everyone to play drinking games at midnight.
We continued to play until maybe 1ish. I knew I had a 3+ hour car ride back to Minneapolis and I was trying to prevent driving back hungover. It didn't work.
Anyways I don't think they lasted much longer than I did but check out this great shot I got before going to bed.
Be sure to check back tomorrow when I tell you all about Shawn shooting a gun