I still get emails thinking I am some other Shawn McGovern.
The most frequent is from a website called PetLink for a dog named Piper, presumably owner by a Shawn McGovern.
Today I got this email.
I have already emailed this company saying I do not own a dog named Piper but they chose to ignore me and continued to send me emails 3 times a day.
I wanted to get them to respond so I told them in so many words that their products killed my dog.
I really did think that they would write back saying something like "What do you mean because of us?"
So I tried to get them to give me the phone number on account so I could just re-register the stupid dog.
MICRO CHIPPED!? Oh Jesus! I thought this place was a company that sold chew toys and dog food!
Well that’s the last I heard from Mary. By this point I’m sure she was freaking out after “killing” Piper off.
Then I got another email. This time from Mary’s manager who was NOT so friendly.
Of course you don’t see any emails from me anymore! YOU DELETED MY ACCOUNT! Lol
I don’t think she liked that but oh well 🤷♂️
No I'm not getting paid for this.
Now if I were getting paid then I'd act a hell of a lot more excited and a lot more nice than I'm going to be.
What the hell is HQ trivia.
HQ Trivia is a trivia game played on your Iphone or Android. There are usually 12 questions with 3 multiple choice options where you have 10 seconds to get the right answer. The questions start off fairly easy and get harder as the game goes on.
The prize you ask? How about $5,000!!
Now that you're familiar with HQ. Let's go over some of the inherent problems with HQ.
Nothing is worse than a horrible host. Their job is important. When you have a horrible host, especially one thst you’re familiar with you immediately groan when you see their face come on the screen.
Introducing- Scott Rogowsky.
When I see his face pop up on the screen my eyes instinctively roll in the back of my head. His unique catch phrase of “My HQ’ties” makes me want to dive off my deck, hopefully causing extreme damage to myself and my phone.
Mr. Rogowsky couldn’t be a worse host. The game is supposed to start at 9pm. This guy rambles on for 6 minutes about complete nonsense and you have no choice but to listen to him because you’re waiting for the first question to come up.
With daily quips like-
“Coming to you from the greatest city on earth, the city that never sleeps... Kenosha Wisconsin”
It’s no wonder you no longer want to live on the planet anymore.
He is the main host of the game and it’s agonizing. The game is fun and challenging but Mr. talk your fucking ear off makes me want to just turn the game off altogether. I’ll usually just turn the volume off and watch the chat.
Which leads me to...
The chat in this game can be rather amazing; like when people profess their inner hatred for Scott.
God forbid though that something goes wrong at any point because you’re going to get a bunch of spoiled brats composing rather quickly.
Their favorite complaint? Saying that there was some sort of glitch in the game. They never really tell you exactly what the glitch is but OH MY GOD they’re gonna tell you. Over and over and over.
There was one time that on the very first question the following disaster, greater than the Hindenburg, more important than the bombing of Pearl Harbor and absolutely more tragic than that time I called the cops on myself happens...
Now I don’t know what’s more surprising here. The fact that 271,505 people were eliminated from
tbe game after getting the right answer r the fact 933 people really thought the correct answer was Golden Retrievers. 🤦♂️
When those 200,000+ people were eliminated from the game it was like the world had ended. HQ didn’t realize there was anything wrong and the game went on as normal. The chat though was a goddamn nightmare.
Then, they moved onto Facebook and Twitter and other places to voice their frustrations. It was everywhere. Finally on question 5, HQ decided to just start over.
For months that’s all people talked about in the chat. Every other comment was RED DELICIOUS or just the words GLITCH over and over. Even when you knew there wasn’t any glitch they just NEVER stopped.
Sticking with joking around and telling everyone Scott is in prison when he wasn’t really in prison whenever he wasn’t the host is a lot more fun to watch than a bunch of people complaining about shit that happened weeks ago.
This game isn’t easy. Which means you’re going to need all the help you can get. That is where “Extra Lives” come in.
If you get a question wrong you can use an “Extra Life” to get back into the game. How do you get an extra life? Well let me tell you.
Refer a friend
When I first started playing the game last year this was the only way you could get an extra life. If someone signs up for HQ using your referral code you’d get an extra life. I had ONE extra life for the first YEAR of me playing this game. Everyone else I knew already had the game. Kinda useless if you ask me.
Play 5 days in a row
Finally they introduced a new way to get extra lives. It was easy. Just play 5 days in a row and viola, a bright shiny extra life.
Now this is going to sound like the biggest first world problem ever but here goes. If you miss a night you have to start over. So say, I dunno, I’m being arrested for something and it 9pm, HQ TIME! You’d better believe I’m opening up HQ and getting my extra life. VERY inconvenient.
Just buy them
I knew this would eventually happen. Pay to get extra lives. I get it they need a way to make money. I just think $4 for ONE extra life is I dunno, kinda ridiculously. I think if they charged even $1 for an extra life they’d make a shit ton of money. You can only use one extra life per game and some of the later questions are impossible.
The prize for winning a game of HQ trivia is $5,000. This seems pretty awesome until you realize how many people actually win.
That's right! You need to share your $5,000 with about 15,000 people. Your normal "take home" pay for winning a game is between .30 and .60 cents. The other problem with this is IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN.
When you get to question 12 you better be a goddamn genius or know the most useless knowledge ever because you’re probably going to lose.
I have probably played hundreds of games of HQ. I have won exactly ONCE. My take home for all that hard work? Exactly .12 cents.
Whats the point then you ask? It seems like all I’ve been doing is telling you what’s wrong with this game.
Well that ONE time I got through a 12 questions the adrenaline rush was crazy. I’d been playing over a year before I’d won and it seems minor but it’s definitely a sense of accomplishment even if it’s a stupid one.
However theres also another reason...
Those are REAL people who’ve won REAL money. Sure I might suck now but there are people out there that have accumulated $25,000 in winnings. Not only that, some nights they’ll have special games where the prize can be anywhere from $25,000 to $100,000. Sure it’s split up
amongst the winners but you might get lucky.
So if you want to win a boat load of nothing but have fun doing it download HQ Trivia.
Why, why, why and why a hundred thousand times.
I honestly doubt a quarter of the human race gets the amount of ‘accidental emails’ that I do.
”Ohhh you’re NOT the Shawn McGovern we were looking for? Sooo sorry!”
The Vitamin Store Ad
I do this a lot with spammy emails.
I will reply with a simple response of “FUCK OFF” just to be clear that I really want them to ACTUALLY Fuck Off.
I’ll tell you one thing though! They NEVER respond.
Only they DID respond!
Yay!! May as well have fun with it.
Here is where they make shit up....
ANOTHER Shawn McGovern!?! Am I being cloned!?!
Now if you know me, then you'd KNOW for a fact that no, I have not been in your store before.
Also, umm you haven't heard of me? Shocking! I'll need to change that!
Not so fast sir. I'm not done.
Really? Professional arm wrestling and Strong Man competitions and you're NOT a bro? These two are the definition of bro. Nope, nothing to see here, just a couple of nerds selling vitamins.
Thats where we stand right now. This is a work in progress so if you have anything to say let me know. I’ll update more.
They never learn!
I received a Facebook message from the wife of one of my friends. I don’t normally talk with this person but are Facebook friends. I figured she was giving me an update on her husband who has been sick.
It it didn’t take long to realize that she had been hacked.
”Got a good news?”
RED FLAG ALERT!!
There’s more of this conversation but let’s bring in Agent John Larry! I texted right away. Don’t wanna lose my $50,000!!
I have no idea who Tony is...
I had a gift card laying around without any money on it so I sent him pictures of that.
Shawn McGovern grew up on a farm 15 miles from Toledo OH. His life long dream is to one day visit that magical city and tell all of his friends about it.