I'll try to go in order.
1. Yard work: for a creepy old man who liked to give me lots of Purity Supreme sodas
2. McDonalds, or the place where a 16 year old kid (me) dated his 21 year old manager (her)
3. The Great steak & Potato Co.: Where I perfected the fine art of cutting potatoes which were later turned into French fries. This skill has stayed with me and I use it daily.
4. Hoyts movie theater: Cleaning up your popcorn daily after the latest showings of Batman Returns & Bridges of Madison County. Slobs.
5. Bradlees: Just a step above Walmart but with less variety and a crappy electronics section. This is where I found out I had Mono.
6. Electronics Boutique: I sold Joe Perry from
Aerosmith his first Nintendo 64, in all the colors, and all the controllers.. in each color, along with each game, for each system. PITA!
7. Paint factory: I would roll around drums of paint thinner from one area to another (not sure why) I quit when, after I bumped a barrel against another, that I could've blown the place up.
8. Medical needle sterilizer: Yeah, it's as fun as it sounds.
9. Caldors: Another department store. I was in receiving. Had to get to work by 5am. Lasted about a month. First job I was ever fired from.
10. Stop & Shop Supermarket: My first Union job! So I started in grocery, stocking shelves, they moved me to dairy, then to frozen foods. Finally, they moved me to produce, cut my hours in half and forced me to quit.
11. Aubuchon Hardware: Whatever you do, don't ask me to, mix paint, cut keys, cut glass, recommend anything at all.
Okay here's where we get out of order...
12. Party lite: First they out me on an assembly line. When they realized I was the reason there were delays. After that I was out in order entry, entering the paper orders into the computer. Sorry for all your missing candles people.
13. C-MAP: I was in charge of tracing paper maps which would go into a computer for use in GPS for boats. Second job I was fired from.
14. State Street Bank: Really? Did they really think that putting me in the same department that handles getting you your retirement check would be a good idea?
15. US ARMY: If you don't know about this swell time, then go here http://www.shawnmcgovern.com/musings/5-reasons-having-adhd-in-the-military-equals-bad-news
16. Stream International: God what a fun job! I was in a team of 4, answering emails from customers who had U.S. Robotics modems. It was always dead. What did we do instead? Played Unreal Tournament on their computer network all day. Sadly people stopped needing modems.
17. Time Share: I rocked this shit! I could get a grandmother on her death bed to go on a time share tour. I convinced people while 9-11 was happening that it was a good idea to go get their 4 free airline tickets at the resort.
18. Jordan's Furniture Customer Service: This place sucked. I had the honor at the time of being the only person to have been fired from customer service.
19. Intrasystems: A glorified secretary for a tech company. "Shawn, we need lunch" and there I was on my way to Deangelos 3 times a week.
20. Infinity Data: Credit card processing company. I started in customer service and moved up to become a RISK Manager. This basically entailed two things. Either telling people that they couldn't have their money because they as a company was shady or telling them they'd just lost all their money because they'd just shipped their entire warehouse of, say, bolts and screws to Nigeria, and they bolts and screws were paid for with a stolen credit card.
Volume 2 coming soon.
This isn't a story I would normally share. The problem though is I can't stop thinking about my stupidity with the whole thing.
So I start my day more or less (usually more) by eating a shit ton at breakfast. On this particular morning I had made myself scrambled egg beaters, 2 english muffins, a yogurt and 3 cups of coffee. You know, the usual.
I sit back in my chair and go into a brief, blissful food coma.
"Shawn" you say. "You're at work" you say. "Shouldn't you be working?" you say.
To which I say, "Work if they're watching"
Take 30 seconds and watch the video above. I'll wait.
Done? Excellent. Because when I was 8 years old THAT'S what I wanted to be.
Forget about being a stupid firefighter or a doctor. I knew I wasn't going to be a sports superstar (more on that another day). No no no, I was going to be a goddamn breakdancing superstar!
Shawn McGovern grew up on a farm 15 miles from Toledo OH. His life long dream is to one day visit that magical city and tell all of his friends about it.