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The Mandela-Effect

10/31/2017

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Have you ever heard of the Mandela-effect?
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No? Well let me take you on a roller coaster acid trip where everything you thought you knew is completely wrong.
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The Mandela-effect all started, simply enough when Nelson Mandela more or less began making the rounds on TV shows like Oprah and CNN. People watching the shows were dumbfounded. Why? Because according to them, Nelson Mandela had died in prison in the 1980’s. This wasn’t one or two people either. Entire communities sprang from this, all of whom legitimately had a memory of him dying. How could so many people be wrong? The Mandela-effect was born.

Queen- We are the Champions

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Who doesn’t love Queen.  Well do you remember the song “We Are The Champions”?
I used to sing that song at the top of my longs. The very end of the song was my favorite part… “We are the champions… of the wooooooorllllddd” 

Yeah! Sorry. That never happened.

The song just ends. There is no “of the world” How the hell is this even possible. I’ve sung the song. This isn’t a misheard lyric like how when I thought Elton John was singing "Hold me closer Tony Danza" when it’s really Tiny Dancer, the name of the goddamn song. This here's an entire lyric completely missing that I had for years sung out loud.

The Monopoly Man

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Let me tell you something. I think I have played exactly 1 game of Monopoly to completion.  What I have done though is setup about half a million games of Monopoly then immediately got bored. It was just never my thing.

Now one thing I can tell you I have seen millions of times is the Monopoly man and his monocle.
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You might have seen where this is headed. Uncle Pennybags (which is his real name) never had a monocle. Jesus Christ. Here is what he really looks like. 
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My god! I feel like my entire life has just been one long fever dream.

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The coffin salesman

10/21/2017

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A friend of mine saw this coffin for sale on the side of the road and got me the number.

So this is the conversation so far.

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Ummm, first of all, this thing is fucking used? What in the actual hell! Second of all, what was the determining factor of having people view the body and then cremate them.
“Screw it, let’s just cremate her”
Thirdly, cables to hold it down? So no one can open it? Who would have thought that’s an actual thing.
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“I’ve had a lot of fun with it”
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Grave robbers jewelry? Really?
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I searched for “Ugliest jewelry”
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    Shawn McGovern grew up on a farm 15 miles from Toledo OH. His life long dream is to one day visit that magical city and tell all of his friends about it.

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