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It's that time again folks! What time is that you ask? Umm it's EMP (English muffin pizza) time! Let me show you!  Pizza sauce or something  If you didn't get this brand of English muffin, you already failed. Hang your head in shame and go order takeout!  Pizza sauce! Not poisoned! We are off to a great start!  Basil leaves!? What the hell do I know? Sure lets sprinkle them on.  Cheese! Check! Tastes good, like cheese should!  Slap some sauce on them muffins boy!  Now go ahead and cheese the hell out of it!  CRAP! We appear to have a cheeseless muffin!  VIOLA! Back up cheese!!  Literally, throw them in the oven. This is already taking way too long.  Ten minutes? 20? An hour and fifty? How the hell should I know? What do I look like? A chef?  Set your oven at 100 or 7 million kelvin. I really don't know.  You might get messy!  Leave the cleanup for you wife or your significant other!  JUST KIDDING! Clean that shit up if you know what's good for you and you want to live the night!  Not done! It's OK this is the point where you can begin to cry  DONE! Enjoy dinner and enjoy knowing that you actually accomplished something in life.
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AuthorShawn McGovern grew up on a farm 15 miles from Toledo OH. His life long dream is to one day visit that magical city and tell all of his friends about it. Archives
December 2018
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