SHAWNMCGOVERN.COM
  • Home
  • Musings
  • Writings
  • Minn. Trip / Bachelor Party
  • Cyborg Inc.
  • Cyborg Inc.
  • Story

​

Fun with a Nigerian scammer

12/22/2017

Comments

 

I got a friend request from this guy today so I sent him a message.

This made my Friday!
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Comments

The best Christmas songs for those who hate Christmas songs

12/3/2017

Comments

 
Picture

Tom Petty- Christmas all over again

I'll admit, I'm a huge Tom Petty fan so it's kind of a surprise that I had forgotten this song even existed. Doesn't take itself too seriously but is still upbeat and peppy. 
Another one gone too soon . RIP.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra- Carol of the bells

The first time I heard this song it was from a YouTube video where people timed the lights to the music. Though that video was just one house. Check this one out. It's an entire street!
​Epic!

Read More
Comments

The Mandela-Effect

10/31/2017

Comments

 
Have you ever heard of the Mandela-effect?
​
No? Well let me take you on a roller coaster acid trip where everything you thought you knew is completely wrong.
Picture

The Mandela-effect all started, simply enough when Nelson Mandela more or less began making the rounds on TV shows like Oprah and CNN. People watching the shows were dumbfounded. Why? Because according to them, Nelson Mandela had died in prison in the 1980’s. This wasn’t one or two people either. Entire communities sprang from this, all of whom legitimately had a memory of him dying. How could so many people be wrong? The Mandela-effect was born.

Queen- We are the Champions

Picture

Who doesn’t love Queen.  Well do you remember the song “We Are The Champions”?
I used to sing that song at the top of my longs. The very end of the song was my favorite part… “We are the champions… of the wooooooorllllddd” 

Yeah! Sorry. That never happened.

The song just ends. There is no “of the world” How the hell is this even possible. I’ve sung the song. This isn’t a misheard lyric like how when I thought Elton John was singing "Hold me closer Tony Danza" when it’s really Tiny Dancer, the name of the goddamn song. This here's an entire lyric completely missing that I had for years sung out loud.

The Monopoly Man

Picture
Let me tell you something. I think I have played exactly 1 game of Monopoly to completion.  What I have done though is setup about half a million games of Monopoly then immediately got bored. It was just never my thing.

Now one thing I can tell you I have seen millions of times is the Monopoly man and his monocle.
​
You might have seen where this is headed. Uncle Pennybags (which is his real name) never had a monocle. Jesus Christ. Here is what he really looks like. 
Picture

My god! I feel like my entire life has just been one long fever dream.

Read More
Comments

The coffin salesman

10/21/2017

Comments

 
Picture
Picture

A friend of mine saw this coffin for sale on the side of the road and got me the number.

So this is the conversation so far.

Picture
Ummm, first of all, this thing is fucking used? What in the actual hell! Second of all, what was the determining factor of having people view the body and then cremate them.
“Screw it, let’s just cremate her”
Thirdly, cables to hold it down? So no one can open it? Who would have thought that’s an actual thing.
Picture
“I’ve had a lot of fun with it”
Picture
Picture
Grave robbers jewelry? Really?
Picture
I searched for “Ugliest jewelry”
Picture
Picture
Picture
Comments

Sprint online chat support

8/22/2017

Comments

 
Picture
Sprint : Hi, what questions can I help answer for
you today?

Joseph J. : I'm happy to help you. Please enter
your name and wireless number for assistance.


You : Hey what's going on

Joseph J. : Please, provide the phone number
and pin to access your account.


You : Is the J for Joseph

You : ????

Joseph J. : J for John.

You : Joseph John? Which one is your first name

Joseph J. : Joseph is my first name.

Joseph J. : Please, provide the phone number
and pin to access your account.


You : Wow. People like me must get that
confused all the time huh?


You : I'm not a customer

You : YET!

Joseph J. : What can I do for you today?

You : So I have Verizon (lame)

Joseph J. : Right.

You : And I had a few questions about Sprint

Joseph J. : Sure, ask any question.

You : Alright so it goes something like this

You : I listen to rap music. Mainly
amateur battle rap


You : I drive a lot and I need to listen to
these jams on the fly


You : I can't have cut outs, fades, flaps
and red flame skips on that


You : Which is CONSTANT right now

You : Ya feel

You : Ya feel me Joseph?

Joseph J. : That is great!

You : What you mean great?! It ain't great
at all Joseph


You : I need better service

Joseph J. : Service is always better in Sprint.

You : So I drive from Lincoln st downtown
to the cape.


You : How many cut outs and flims you gonna hit

Joseph J. : I never took that way hence,
I am not sure how many cut outs are there.


You : Ok that's fair, that's fair Joseph

You : Being honest, I like that

Joseph J. : It is 32 hours from lincol street
to cape


Joseph J. : .May be I am looking at the
wrong map.


Joseph J. : Are both the places in the same
city?


You : I dunno what route you takin but
yeah, I guess if I'm walkin


You : What city Lincoln did you put in?

Joseph J. : Lincoln St, Spring Hill, KS 66083

You : Nah, my uncle live there though.
I mean Boston


Joseph J. : Lincoln St
Boston, MA 02111


You : You got it.

You : In the mean time let me throw
one out there for you Joseph J


Joseph J. : Is it cape town cape cod or
cape coral?


You : Yo, we livin it, feeling it, bein it, killin it
chillin it and billin it. Bam bam,
Sam I am, Layin down rhymes like a
tuna can


You : Cape cod MA

Joseph J. : That is cool, you are a rapper.

You : Amateur hour right there Joseph

Joseph J. : That is 1 h 25 min.

You : Yes!

You : Is my service gonna be good?

Joseph J. : Service is always good in Sprint.

You : Any jolts? Hammer Slings or Gigiways?

You : On that route?

Joseph J. : Which route?

You : From Boston

Joseph J. : Sprint service route or
Lincoln to cape route.


You : Yes. EXACTLY! I like you Joseph J!
You get me!


Joseph J. : Is today your off?

Joseph J. : Will you buy a new device as
well with Sprint or will bring your
own device?


Joseph J. : I am a bit old for your talks,
I am 56 year old kid.


You : Yes. Well, totally you the truth,
my work closed because they didn't really
like me. They shut down, moved to Toledo and
left me behind


Joseph J. : If you will bring your own
device then please call telesales
at 1-800-777-4681.


You : You don't talk like you are 56!!
47 maybe but not 56


You : I'ill buy an android

Joseph J. : I will transfer the chat to websales,
you will find people around your age over
there, they sell and do all kind of talks.


You : Wait don't go! I'll miss you!

Joseph J. : Shall I transfer the chat to
websales?


You : Can I ask you a quick question

Joseph J. : Yes, it should be quick.

You : Ok real

You : quick

Joseph J. : Right.

You : Flip flop on the clock. Go to the
dock to ring the flock. Bing bam, bingo man


You : Was that a good rap?

Joseph J. : Awesome.

You : Thank you Joseph J

Joseph J. : I took calls fro 13 years
and now I am old to take calls otherwise
I would have called you to listen to
your rap.


You : Omg you are awesome

Joseph J. : Anyway, now I will transfer
the chat to web sales I am sure they will like
you rap and make it a caller tune in Sprint.


You : Thank you

Joseph J. : Shall I transfer the chat to
web sales?
​

You : Wait give me 2 seconds

You : Ok go ahead




To contact Sprint, write to: Office of Privacy - Legal Department, Sprint, P.O. Box 4600, Reston, VA 20195.

View the Sprint Privacy Policy.

© 2017 Sprint. Sprint and the logo are trademarks of Sprint. Other marks are the property of their respective owners. All rights reserved.






Comments
<<Previous
Forward>>

    Author

    Shawn McGovern grew up on a farm 15 miles from Toledo OH. His life long dream is to one day visit that magical city and tell all of his friends about it.

    Archives

    September 2019
    December 2018
    July 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016

    Categories

    All
    Bachelor Party
    Breakdancing
    Fart
    Funny
    Jobs
    Passive Aggressive
    Podcast
    Random Texts
    Street View
    Support Chat

    Subscribe in a reader

Having fun?
Visit Musings of Shawn on Facebook

  • Home
  • Musings
  • Writings
  • Minn. Trip / Bachelor Party
  • Cyborg Inc.
  • Cyborg Inc.
  • Story