I got a friend request from this guy today so I sent him a message. This made my Friday!                                          
Tom Petty- Christmas all over again
I'll admit, I'm a huge Tom Petty fan so it's kind of a surprise that I had forgotten this song even existed. Doesn't take itself too seriously but is still upbeat and peppy.
Another one gone too soon . RIP. Trans-Siberian Orchestra- Carol of the bells
The first time I heard this song it was from a YouTube video where people timed the lights to the music. Though that video was just one house. Check this one out. It's an entire street!
Epic!
Have you ever heard of the Mandela-effect?
No? Well let me take you on a roller coaster acid trip where everything you thought you knew is completely wrong. 
The Mandela-effect all started, simply enough when Nelson Mandela more or less began making the rounds on TV shows like Oprah and CNN. People watching the shows were dumbfounded. Why? Because according to them, Nelson Mandela had died in prison in the 1980’s. This wasn’t one or two people either. Entire communities sprang from this, all of whom legitimately had a memory of him dying. How could so many people be wrong? The Mandela-effect was born.Queen- We are the Champions
Who doesn’t love Queen. Well do you remember the song “We Are The Champions”? I used to sing that song at the top of my longs. The very end of the song was my favorite part… “We are the champions… of the wooooooorllllddd” Yeah! Sorry. That never happened. The song just ends. There is no “of the world” How the hell is this even possible. I’ve sung the song. This isn’t a misheard lyric like how when I thought Elton John was singing "Hold me closer Tony Danza" when it’s really Tiny Dancer, the name of the goddamn song. This here's an entire lyric completely missing that I had for years sung out loud. The Monopoly Man
Let me tell you something. I think I have played exactly 1 game of Monopoly to completion. What I have done though is setup about half a million games of Monopoly then immediately got bored. It was just never my thing.
Now one thing I can tell you I have seen millions of times is the Monopoly man and his monocle. You might have seen where this is headed. Uncle Pennybags (which is his real name) never had a monocle. Jesus Christ. Here is what he really looks like. 
My god! I feel like my entire life has just been one long fever dream.   A friend of mine saw this coffin for sale on the side of the road and got me the number. So this is the conversation so far.  Ummm, first of all, this thing is fucking used? What in the actual hell! Second of all, what was the determining factor of having people view the body and then cremate them. “Screw it, let’s just cremate her” Thirdly, cables to hold it down? So no one can open it? Who would have thought that’s an actual thing.  “I’ve had a lot of fun with it”   Grave robbers jewelry? Really?  I searched for “Ugliest jewelry”     Sprint : Hi, what questions can I help answer for
you today? Joseph J. : I'm happy to help you. Please enter your name and wireless number for assistance. You : Hey what's going on Joseph J. : Please, provide the phone number and pin to access your account. You : Is the J for Joseph You : ???? Joseph J. : J for John. You : Joseph John? Which one is your first name Joseph J. : Joseph is my first name. Joseph J. : Please, provide the phone number and pin to access your account. You : Wow. People like me must get that confused all the time huh? You : I'm not a customer You : YET! Joseph J. : What can I do for you today? You : So I have Verizon (lame) Joseph J. : Right. You : And I had a few questions about Sprint Joseph J. : Sure, ask any question. You : Alright so it goes something like this You : I listen to rap music. Mainly amateur battle rap You : I drive a lot and I need to listen to these jams on the fly You : I can't have cut outs, fades, flaps and red flame skips on that You : Which is CONSTANT right now You : Ya feel You : Ya feel me Joseph? Joseph J. : That is great! You : What you mean great?! It ain't great at all Joseph You : I need better service Joseph J. : Service is always better in Sprint. You : So I drive from Lincoln st downtown to the cape. You : How many cut outs and flims you gonna hit Joseph J. : I never took that way hence, I am not sure how many cut outs are there. You : Ok that's fair, that's fair Joseph You : Being honest, I like that Joseph J. : It is 32 hours from lincol street to cape Joseph J. : .May be I am looking at the wrong map. Joseph J. : Are both the places in the same city? You : I dunno what route you takin but yeah, I guess if I'm walkin You : What city Lincoln did you put in? Joseph J. : Lincoln St, Spring Hill, KS 66083 You : Nah, my uncle live there though. I mean Boston Joseph J. : Lincoln St Boston, MA 02111 You : You got it. You : In the mean time let me throw one out there for you Joseph J Joseph J. : Is it cape town cape cod or cape coral? You : Yo, we livin it, feeling it, bein it, killin it chillin it and billin it. Bam bam, Sam I am, Layin down rhymes like a tuna can You : Cape cod MA Joseph J. : That is cool, you are a rapper. You : Amateur hour right there Joseph Joseph J. : That is 1 h 25 min. You : Yes! You : Is my service gonna be good? Joseph J. : Service is always good in Sprint. You : Any jolts? Hammer Slings or Gigiways? You : On that route? Joseph J. : Which route? You : From Boston Joseph J. : Sprint service route or Lincoln to cape route. You : Yes. EXACTLY! I like you Joseph J! You get me! Joseph J. : Is today your off? Joseph J. : Will you buy a new device as well with Sprint or will bring your own device? Joseph J. : I am a bit old for your talks, I am 56 year old kid. You : Yes. Well, totally you the truth, my work closed because they didn't really like me. They shut down, moved to Toledo and left me behind Joseph J. : If you will bring your own device then please call telesales at 1-800-777-4681. You : You don't talk like you are 56!! 47 maybe but not 56 You : I'ill buy an android Joseph J. : I will transfer the chat to websales, you will find people around your age over there, they sell and do all kind of talks. You : Wait don't go! I'll miss you! Joseph J. : Shall I transfer the chat to websales? You : Can I ask you a quick question Joseph J. : Yes, it should be quick. You : Ok real You : quick Joseph J. : Right. You : Flip flop on the clock. Go to the dock to ring the flock. Bing bam, bingo man You : Was that a good rap? Joseph J. : Awesome. You : Thank you Joseph J Joseph J. : I took calls fro 13 years and now I am old to take calls otherwise I would have called you to listen to your rap. You : Omg you are awesome Joseph J. : Anyway, now I will transfer the chat to web sales I am sure they will like you rap and make it a caller tune in Sprint. You : Thank you Joseph J. : Shall I transfer the chat to web sales? You : Wait give me 2 seconds You : Ok go ahead To contact Sprint, write to: Office of Privacy - Legal Department, Sprint, P.O. Box 4600, Reston, VA 20195. View the Sprint Privacy Policy. © 2017 Sprint. Sprint and the logo are trademarks of Sprint. Other marks are the property of their respective owners. All rights reserved. |
AuthorShawn McGovern grew up on a farm 15 miles from Toledo OH. His life long dream is to one day visit that magical city and tell all of his friends about it. Archives
September 2019
Categories
All
|
