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The best Christmas songs for those who hate Christmas songs

12/3/2017

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Tom Petty- Christmas all over again

I'll admit, I'm a huge Tom Petty fan so it's kind of a surprise that I had forgotten this song even existed. Doesn't take itself too seriously but is still upbeat and peppy. 
Another one gone too soon . RIP.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra- Carol of the bells

The first time I heard this song it was from a YouTube video where people timed the lights to the music. Though that video was just one house. Check this one out. It's an entire street!
​Epic!

Pogues- Fairytale of New York

"You were handsome!" "You were pretty
Queen of New York City"
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging
All the drunks, they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

My GOD! If there were ever a dysfunctional Christmas love song, this would be it. 
When the opening line of the song starts "It's Christmas Eve babe! In the drunk tank" you know you have something special. 
It goes from a love song to an outright bitter tirade from guy to girl and vice versa.
​
You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last


This song is an Irish Christmas love song. Love isn't always easy but in the end, these people are human and they love each other and it says it in a way that's real and not shoved down your throat. 

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you


COME ON! That's some feels right there! 

Waitresses- Christmas Wrapping

This music video has not aged well let me tell you. 
The song screams Christmas stress though. Running around, stressed out. It's supposed to be Christmas, a time for fun, family and friends, but it never really works out that way.
This song has one of the cheesiest lines ever though and I LOVE IT.

​Oh damn! Guess what I forgot.
So on with the boots
Back out in the snow
To the only all night grocery.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year.
'Spending this one alone, ' he said.
'Give me a break, this year's been crazy.'
I said 'Me too, but why are you..
You mean you forgot cranberries too?'

Moral of the story? You can find true love too. Just make sure you forget cranberry sauce... or something.

Blink 182- I won't be home for Christmas

I swear, Christmas just keeps coming earlier and earlier every year. The day after Halloween, suddenly, all of the Christmas displays are up and you have at least 1 radio station already switching to all Christmas music 24 hours a day. 

It's Christmas time again 
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand 
All year 
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me 
Please stay away from my home 
If you don't wanna get beat down 
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone.


Though I don't agree 100%, the sentiment is surely heard. 

Mariah Carey- All I want for Christmas is you

Okay, okay, I get it. A lot of people hate this song. I don't really care for Mariah Carey personally. I mean did you catch her New Years eve performance last year. <Eye Roll>

It's as cheesy a Christmas song you can get but hell if it doesn't get stuck in my head any time I hear it. And that's not a bad thing. That was hard to write. Lets move on.

The Pretenders- 2000 Miles

Unlike Mariah (see above) I love Chrissy Hynde of The Pretenders. She's a true Rock n Roll legend. 
2000 miles has a simple guitar riff that will hook you from the moment it starts.

He's gone two thousand miles
It's very far
The snow is falling down
Gets colder day by day
I miss you

Not sure who she is talking about but I hope he gets back soon. Someones going to have to shovel the driveway.

Run DMC- Christmas in Hollis

When did you first hear this song? I bet a lot of people heard it the same way I did. The very beginning of Die Hard. 

Argyle (the limo driver) introduced me to my first Christmas rap song. Before the days of Google, I didn't know who sang the song, or even what it was called. I searched every music store but never knew what to look for.  So, I guess thank you Internet. 
I am only putting the Die Hard clip in because every single other video I found has 30 second ads. No thanks. ​

The Kinks- Father Christmas

This angst ridden tune will surely cheer you up and get you in that Holiday spirit. This late 70's song is clearly a homage to his childhood with lyrics like

Don't give my brother a Steve Austin outfit
Don't give my sister a cuddly toy
We don't want a jigsaw or monopoly money
We only want the real mccoy

and 

Father Christmas, give us some money

We got no time for your silly toys
Father Christmas, please hand it over
We'll beat you up so don't make us annoyed

When you always have the traditional Christmas; you know, with presents under a Christmas tree, a nice Christmas dinner with family and friends, it's easy to forget that not everyone is as lucky to have all these things. So...

Have yourself a merry merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember the kids who got nothin'
While you're drinkin' down your wine

Sorry for the guilt trip.

Wham- Last Christmas

Let me let out a little squeal. 
<Squuuuueeeeeal> 
Because that is how much I love this freaking song. I wait 10-11 months every year just to hear this masterpiece sung by George Michael. 

So the gist of the story is this.
Boy finds girl on ski trip with friends. Boy gives girl his heart. The very next day she gave it away. 
Fast forward a year, same ski trip.
This homewrecker is there AGAIN! How dare she? So ya know what? To save himself from tears? This year, he's gonna give his heart to someone special because screw her. 

The classic F you lyric to end all F you lyrics...

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me, baby
Do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me

And this. Ooh girl, you done wrong!

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice
My god, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

WHAM!! Take that! George is the man! Go home and ruin someone else's life because my boy George Micheal aint taking no more of your shit. 

If you enjoyed this. Please consider sharing. Come on. It's Christmas!


Or check me out at Musings of Shawn on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/groups/MusingsOfShawn/
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    Shawn McGovern grew up on a farm 15 miles from Toledo OH. His life long dream is to one day visit that magical city and tell all of his friends about it.

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